A Very British Slice of Beef and other stories

As  I sit tapping on my iPad mini I mourn the passing of my old friend and comrade, the PC. In a hopefully shorter than normal foray I muse on my Imperial X-Wing funk, placing a ‘bounty’ and Team tournaments.

Yavin 2016: a year on

After having a nice string on consistent results in late 2015 and early 2016 with Imperials the wheels started to fall off and in some ways I couldn’t find an Imperial list I particularly liked to play in the run up to Yavin 2016 and afterwards. It helped switching to Rebels after Yavin for the UK Team Tournament in October, then after that having dalliances with Scum but the Empire came a calling for Yavin 2017.

It occurred to me that the old skool ways of playing Imperials had to change, which was impart reflected in the lack of Imoerials in the meta and partially over inflated due to the compacted global season switch. There had to be an angle other than just palp plus friends and I looked at swarm leader then Kylo crew. Combining Kylo crew with LT Colzet felt like genius but still played like old Imperial triple aces and I did not have the practice time for Yavin 2017.

I partly regret not taking one of my early swarm leader builds like ‘All Four Assholes.’ I still enjoyed both Yavin events, but Kylo and Colzet had to go, too much of a grey cell exercise. In many ways post Yavin 2017 it’s been more fun working out ways to make swarm leader work and trying squad builds than trying to be hyper competitive.

red thunder idiots

As a plus I curbed my caffeine addiction

Zombie Squadron

Yavin 2016, the UK Team Championship, (UKTC) and Yavin 2017 where landmark events for the squadron in terms of membership and focus. The UKTC in particular really focused the group and it is the same for this year.

Zombie Squadron was born from the ashes of the old Woking 1st Founding Games club. One last throw of the dice to revive a flailing games club resulted in birthing a conglomoration of players embarking on road trips to play X-Wing in far flung places like Birmingham and Milton Keynes. Our main ethos is “don’t be a dick,” and aim is to “talk shit,” for a day or two and maybe win a few games. It’s not like you can discuss the merits of the X7 nerf to any old random bod down the boozer or coffe shop.

Well you can try.



Having missed out on tickets in 2015 we ear marked the 2016 team championship as a ‘a thing.’ If you have not tried a team format of X-Wing or other miniatures game I thoroughly recommend it. I’m not talking doubles either. The match up process of deciding who plays who from each team is another layer of tactical onions to explore.

On a more personal level it was a great distraction to focus on at the time. My aunt, (my mum’s identical twin Sister) was admitted to hospital in late July 2016, diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died in mid September. She lived the parallel street behind my mum and as families we all grew up together. My Dad died when I was 17 and my aunt and uncle really helped.

Having  a hobby is a great distraction from the sometimes unpleasantness of the real world. It won’t mythically take the pain away but you can journey somewhere else, it’s supposed to be a fun and social experience after all. And that’s what the UKTC was last year. A group of mates going up to Milton Keynes to roll dice together in their pants, meeting up with other like minded individuals and groups.

When  looking at budgets and Wife Points, some of us decided UKTC this year over UK Nationals. The team dynamic is really fun and interesting and worth roping some friends into. Speaking of which congratulations to our very own Firespray lover Phil GC for making it into team Wales for the European Team Championships this August.  It won’t be easy though as he will have to rub shoulders with some of those scrubs from the ‘One Ate Sith Squadron,’ or something like that.

storm trooper love

186th Bounty: A very British slice of beef

Actually we are quite fond of the guys from the 186th Squadron, one of the earlier Squadrons and a great benchmark for playing the game and doing stuff for the community and so forth. That being said I thought “would it be fun to do what the Yanks do and slap a bounty on them for our local store championship?” We had a unanimous decision on our messenger group but it went like this:

“That’s a great idea but we should check if it’s okay with the store owner.”


“it’s his tournament.”

“yeah you’re right, I’ll do that. I will check with the 186th as well, don’t want to offend anyone.”


So having Got the thumbs up from the store owner I sought the opinion of fellow attendee and the 186th’s Director of Propoganda, Mr Alex Birt who had taken on a Mr Burns persona.

Why, that is a most excellent idea. Tell me, what happens if I beat someone from my own team, do I get the bounty?

“Err… I don’t see why not.”

“Excellent… Now be gone silly Zombie man. Jesper! Release the hounds.”

Possibly a bit of artistic licence there but you get the drift. Having listened to the American podcasts about bounties and beef it turns out we revert to sterotype of either silly Monty Python upper class or Dyck Van Dyke Chimney sweeps when trying the same.

“I say old chap, would you awfully mind us putting a bounty on your Squadron?”

“Why that sounds a most splendid idea.”


What’s in the box man? Earn more bounty tokens than anyone else and the grand bounty is all yours

Wrapping up

I’ve learned a bit more about Perspex laser cutting from Cog O Two who did the bounty tokens for us and some other stuff for our team tournament on Saturday 26th August. Tickets for the UKTC go on Sale at midday on Saturday 15th July. It’s worth trying to get a team together and going if you can. Failing that our event is running the same format but on a smaller scale. Or do both!

So I’m looking forward to the upcoming local store championship for local people with an Imperial squad I’m happy with, (happy in a plethora of ways) and seeing how the tofu goes down, (or is that quorn), whatever manufactured beef is called.

But most importantly in the words of the Speakman’s, play more X-Wing.


UKTC 2017 Sunday 15th October Jury’s Inn Milton Keynes

Woking War 2017 Saturday 26th August Maybury Centre Woking: https://zombiesquadron.net/2017/06/19/woking-war-x-wing-team-tournament/









One thought on “A Very British Slice of Beef and other stories

  1. Pingback: Firespray 31: Albatross was a ship’s good luck, ’til some idiot killed it – Such an X-wing Hipster

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